A hilarious Translation From PR-Speak to English of Selected Portions of Adobe’s ‘FAQ’ Regarding Their Acquisition of Macromedia by Daring Fireball, which blows a hole a mile wide in this — and all such — verbiage-laden press releases. This for example:
Do you anticipate a reduction in force as a result of this transaction?
When two successful growing companies join together, the result is a combined organization that creates new and exciting opportunities. The combination will lead to powerful new areas of innovation, new products and solutions, and an acceleration of our respective growth agendas. At the same time, there will be some duplication of employee functions between the two companies, and upon the close of the transaction, we anticipate some level of reduction in force. While we anticipate the integration team will identify opportunities for cost savings, the primary motivation for this acquisition is to continue to expand and grow our businesses into new markets.
[Translation] Yes.
Very good stuff. Unless of course you’re an employee of Macromedia or Adobe. We need more of these translations. In fact, why not set up a ‘press release translation service’ for everyone sick of reading PR dross? I’d sign up.
I’m not as sick of PR dross as I am of idiotic layoffs.